Devil in the Wishing Well
by cherryXbomb
Summary: He’s part of the reason that you gave into the Devil. When he pointed that gun at you, you felt all of your old self fly away. No longer were you Cause Girl. Instead you were a Lost Cause.[One Shot]


**Title: **The Devil in the Wishing Well

**Author: **cherryXbomb

**Rating: **PG-13

**Show: **Degrassi the Next Generation

**Ship:** Emma/Jay

**Spoilers: **Up to _Secrets_, everything after that is pretty much my imagination

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Degrassi the Next Generation. I do not own the song _The Devil in the Wishing Well_. I do not own Emma Nelson or Jay Hogart. I do not own anything except the computer I wrote this on and actually, I think that technically belongs to my mom. So Cliffnotes (also don't own): Don't sue me! (You wouldn't get much anyway.)

**Author's Note: **I wrote this around 1 in the morning so it's bound to suck. Song lyrics are by Five for Fighting and the song is The Devil in the Wishing Well.

**Summary: **He's part of the reason that you gave into the Devil. When he pointed that gun at you, you felt all of your old self fly away. No longer were you Cause Girl. Instead you were a Lost Cause.

Begin I met Jane at the center of the earth 

_It was dark and there was dirt all around_

_But I gather you can figure that_

You've always been Cause Girl. From the moment that you discovered what pollution was, you've been fighting it. You were always at the center of some cause that was good for the earth, good for the environment, good for the world. You never dreamed that one day the pollution would be inside you. You never dreamed that your open heart would one day turn dark and cold. You never imagined that you would one day you wouldn't recognize yourself in the mirror.

_Jane says I'm your body in the night_

_And I'll lead you to where you might find yourself_

_Better if you follow me_

He offered you an escape. He offered you love after you met Jordan. He showed you who you were. Then he hurt you. He hurt you so badly that you thought you couldn't go on. He broke your heart when you were in Grade 7 but you never got over him. Then your best friend invited him to your parent's wedding and you got so mad. You didn't want to admit that you still had feelings for him, or that he could still have feelings for you. And then he showed up and you got back together. You fell in love with him. You never imagined that he'd break your heart a second time, but he did. And though you got over him, your heart never recovered.

_So go right you'll be left at a big hotel_

_You'll meet the devil at the bottom of a wishing well_

Then the devil showed up at school, dressed as your first love's best friend. You never knew that he'd show you things and get you to do things that you generally wouldn't have done. You didn't expect the guy that in all actuality stole your boyfriend away to be the one that you dream about at night. You never expected that the devil would be someone that you knew. Or worse someone that happened to be your first love's best friend. You never expected the devil to rear his head in Toronto. And you never expected that under the devil's influence, your first love would steal your step-dad's laptop.

_You know you better give him something_

_Give him something good_

_Like everybody else he's misunderstood_

It became your personal mission in life to destroy the devil and your first love. They were in the league together. They were out there making trouble and though you'd never admit it, it intrigued you. But you couldn't let yourself sink to that. You wouldn't allow yourself to be intrigued by the mischief they represented. They were dilinquents and you still believed that you were better than that. You know now that you aren't better than them. You're not even their equal. Because in some ways you are inferior to them. The intrigue that you had in the dark side represented by the devil and the first love would be your undoing. It would be the end of Cause Girl.

_Jane says it's a long way out…_

_I'm gonna make it out_

_Cause I'm about her_

The more that the dark side intrigued you, the more you fought to be the same girl that you tried so hard to be. You tried to maintain the good girl image. You fought with the intrigue and held off the temptation to discover what it was that you truly yearned for. You didn't let anyone know that you were on a downward spiral, one that would be nearly impossible to get out of.

You finally met your dad. He wasn't what you had invisioned for all those years. He wasn't a doctor or a lawyer or a prince on a white horse. He was in a mental institution with terminal brain damage. Your step-dad, the one that you called Dad, got diagnosed with cancer. Your life was suddenly filled with the crying of your new baby brother. You lost your best friend.

_Jane says you're as holy as a ghost_

Your best friend believed that you were stuck-up. She believed that you were the goody-two-shoes and it pleased you. It meant that the façade that you offered to the world everyday was working. Someone was fooled and you didn't have to worry about going into the dark side. Not when you were as holy as a ghost, not when you were Cause Girl. You didn't even care that you were lonely. You felt that if you could numb yourself to the temptation of the devil, then you could numb the pain inside and make it better. You didn't know that your holiness would ultimately destroy the Cause Girl.

_But who loves you most if you offer_

_I might let you carry me_

Then he came to the school. You knew what he was. You knew that he had put his ex-girlfriend into a coma. He called out to be ostracized. His ex-girlfriend was popular. She left the school after she woke up from the coma. Nobody expected to see him again. But you saw him as a new cause. You saw him as a way to open up people's eyes to domestic violence. You wanted him gone. He was the one thing in your life that you thought you could change. You couldn't change the slowly disintegrating bonds between your best friend and yourself. You couldn't stop the way that guys looked at you. They didn't look at you as though you were the Cause Girl, they looked at you as though you were the Queen Bee. It made you nervous though you couldn't change it. What made you more nervous was how the Devil stared at you. And you couldn't control any of it. You felt as though the campaign against the psycho could be one thing that you controlled.

You sold ribbons to campaign against the psycho when the school principal told you that you weren't allowed to protest openly. You tried and soon, with the help of the Queen Bee, you saw orange ribbons decorating the shirts of half the student body. It brought a smile to your face until the Devil's girlfriend mentioned that you might like the psycho. It struck fear into your heart and you tripped him in the middle of the Dot. You didn't want anyone thinking that you liked the psycho. You didn't want anyone thinking that your willingness to accept his pity check was a symbol that you liked him.

But you stopped them when they went too far. The Devil and his girlfriend were willing to beat up the psycho, merely because he existed and finally a part of you woke up. You stood up for him. It wasn't about control; it wasn't about anything. It was about right and wrong. Peaceful protest involving ribbons was one thing, but beating him up was more than you could bear to watch.

Unfortunately, he began to think that you liked him. The psycho began to fall for you and ultimately became the catalyst to your conversion to the dark side. He's part of the reason that you gave into the Devil. When he pointed that gun at you, you felt all of your old self fly away. No longer were you Cause Girl. Instead you were a Lost Cause.

_Jane there's nobody here but yourself_

_In the end it's the wealth of your spirit_

_Now hurry up and get on with it_

Then your first love left you to return to his hometown with his parents. He had saved your life when the psycho pointed the gun at you and then the Devil drove you, your first love, and his current girlfriend to Wasaga Beach. You skipped school and you hung out on the beach all day. Your first love apologized to you for everything that had happened the previous year with the Devil. That apology offered you closure and you could leave Cause Girl behind. You could become the Lost Cause.

_I went left I got right at some big hotel_

_There was a devil at the bottom of the wishing well_

You wished for normalcy and the Devil offered you that. Only it wasn't the same version of normal that you had anticipated. His normal included sixteen individual speakers in an orange civic. His normal included parties at the ravine. His normal included sex bracelets and oral sex. His normal didn't stop to think about anything that you had held so dear for so long. At first you were afraid of that normal and you ran. You ran from the Devil, afraid that if you accepted his normal than Cause Girl was really dead. You didn't know that she was already long gone. She died with the psycho. She left with your first love.

_He said you better give me something_

_Give me something good_

_Like everybody else I'm misunderstood_

The next night you went back. You helped him serial cheat on his girlfriend by finally succumbing to the dark side. You gave into the intrigue that had been haunting you for so long. You gave into the Devil. You gave him oral sex and then you fought with your best friend again. You rubbed her abortion into her face as she yelled at you for helping the Devil serial cheat. But by then it was too late. You were one of them. You were one of the soulless people who stared into the camp fires and drank the beer at the ravine. You were truly a Lost Cause.

_Jane says it's a long way out_

_I'm gonna make it out_

_Cause I'm about_

You got gonorrhea from him. But still you went back. You had sold your soul to him and you didn't know how to get it back. Your parents had grounded you and locked your bedroom window, but still you went back. You were always there in your dreams. Because no matter how many bolts were put on your window and how many bells were on the basement door, they couldn't stop you from dreaming of the time when you could be with the Devil again. You hated him for what he did to you, but you still wanted to go back.

_Jane says it's a long way out_

_I'm gonna make it out_

You earned your parents trust back. And then you went back. You went back to the Devil and you earned more bracelets. Each bracelet was another tie to the dark side in which you lived now. You knew that the dark side was your home and you had given into temptation. The Devil was the one that you wanted but often you ended up with the others. Though the Devil always made time for you. The bracelets soon became your pride and joy, though you knew that you were doing things to yourself that were degrading to women. You didn't care about your self-destructive behavior because it brought you closer to him…

_I took a guess and cut a portion out of my heart_

_He said that's nowhere close enough but it's a damn good start_

You began to fall in love with him. You didn't want to admit it but you were falling in love slowly with the Devil. His eyes became your escape, but when you were with him, you acted as though you didn't care that all you were to him was a hook-up. You didn't care that he never seemed to love you. You were actually relieved that he never addressed you in public. It was your little secret. You didn't know that inside, the Devil was devastated that the Lost Cause didn't wish to address him outside of the ravine, their little slice of hell.

One night he talked to you about it and you thought all night. Then the next day at school, you saw him in the halls and addressed him. You noticed your best friend give you a death glare but you could've cared less. Your heart felt lighter because you had acknowledged him, though he was still the Devil. You felt as though you could fly just from looking in his eyes and addressing him in public.

_I wrote the secret that I buried on the wishing well wall_

Yet you felt isolated from your best friend. Years before you would've been able to tell her how you felt about any guy. But you knew how she felt about the Devil. You had heard her opinions on it when it all started… when the first green bracelet bedecked your wrist. Now you felt as though an invisible wall was constructed between you two. At night, when you weren't with the Devil cutting away what was left of your soul, you cried about the loss of your best friend.

_He said I've seen one… it follows that I've seen them all_

_We spoke of human destination in a perfect world_

_Derived the nature of the universe (found it unfulfilled)_

After awhile, you became more open. You began to talk to the Devil at school, getting odd looks from all your peers. They still viewed you as Cause Girl. They didn't know that you'd become a Lost Cause. The guys still looked at you like you were the Queen Bee. But you only had one guy on your mind. It was the one that two years previously you had so hated but so desired as he took over your first love's life. It was the guy that you discussed everything with as you sat in his van before you would go down on him. He was the guy that would gingerly put a new bracelet on your slender wrist, though there was little room for more bracelets.

_As I took him in my arms he screamed I'm not insane_

_I'm just looking for someone to understand my pain…_

_It's a long way out…_

And now you take him into your arms. Knowing deep down that all he is for you is an escape. Knowing that the tears in your eyes as he holds you is from the remnants of you soul, an ice, cold brick that is slowly deteriorating. It is slowly being given to the Devil. But all you seek is an escape and the Devil offers it to you. He offers you comfort as you slip into the depths of insanity. He holds you as you scream inside, trying to just make it through without anyone to hold dear, anyone except the Devil. The Devil named Jay Hogart.

_I'm gonna make it out_

But you know you're strong. And you know you'll make it. And you know that one day, you'll be able to free yourself from seeing him as the devil and finally see him as Jay Hogart, the guy that you love despite everything.


End file.
